Thursday, December 22, 2011
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Robert Dilts - Authentic Leadership
In the following clip Robert Dilts speaks about the differences between Management and Leadership. He makes distinctions that outline "Authentic Leadership" or Alpha Leadership.
I hope you enjoy watching as he simplifies his ideas on how an effective Leader manages themselves and their own "Inner Game" first.
Remember Internal words create Feelings and these feelings create actions, unconsciously these Actions over time become habitual.
Robert Dilts explains how with NLP we can change these processes.
We speak about self management often, if one is unable to manage ones self one will not be able to consistently show up and manage other people.
I hope you really enjoy the simple way Robert shares his ideas on this subject which are most often overlooked in people and organisations.
Robert also explains the significant energetic drains that will spread through teams, departments and even throughout a whole organisation as a result of overlooking these distinctions.
Specialized NLP Training can help organisations by training Execs and HR departments to understand how to qualify new Leaders and identify these qualities right from the beginning.
A company who invest in great leaders will become far more effective in the long run than companies who retain managers that lack the Self managed and motivated qualities threaded through and through a true leader.
People and companies can become far more resourceful in these challenging economic times as we begin to understand how this works, and plan accordingly.
Nisada Coaching
I hope you enjoy watching as he simplifies his ideas on how an effective Leader manages themselves and their own "Inner Game" first.
Remember Internal words create Feelings and these feelings create actions, unconsciously these Actions over time become habitual.
Robert Dilts explains how with NLP we can change these processes.
We speak about self management often, if one is unable to manage ones self one will not be able to consistently show up and manage other people.
I hope you really enjoy the simple way Robert shares his ideas on this subject which are most often overlooked in people and organisations.
Robert also explains the significant energetic drains that will spread through teams, departments and even throughout a whole organisation as a result of overlooking these distinctions.
Specialized NLP Training can help organisations by training Execs and HR departments to understand how to qualify new Leaders and identify these qualities right from the beginning.
A company who invest in great leaders will become far more effective in the long run than companies who retain managers that lack the Self managed and motivated qualities threaded through and through a true leader.
People and companies can become far more resourceful in these challenging economic times as we begin to understand how this works, and plan accordingly.
Nisada Coaching
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Laughter changes brain chemistry
Did you know just by having a laugh you are changing your chemicals and you are connecting your physiology and mind which always is great to change your state.
Makes sense doesn't it since you immediately feel better, don't you.
I love a good laugh, here are some that make me smile and some that make my laugh hysterically.
Nisada Coaching
Makes sense doesn't it since you immediately feel better, don't you.
I love a good laugh, here are some that make me smile and some that make my laugh hysterically.
Nisada Coaching
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
NLP| How to become more patient | NLP is Fun
The Ultimate Goal of NLP is to use Neuro linguistic programming to understand our and other peoples subjective reality.
As an NLP Practitioner we have multiple tools to improve our "Model of the world".
There are multiple patterns we can use to Align higher values with other people as well as maintaining our individuality.
This is effective communication. To be able to relate more and create rapport.
A necessary aspect of this is tolerance of other peoples beliefs.
People experience life differently and may not agree with you on every single thing.
When this happens compassion, tolerance and patience are very useful.
Could you do with a little more patience ?.
Perhaps we all can, To be patient and tolerant also equates to how flexible you can be.
Remember the person with the most flexibility wins
We are all different, and yet we also have lots of things in common.
Would you like to relate to other people who have different beliefs than us.
The more people we can relate to, the more effective we will be in our communication and in our life.
In any relationship Tolerance and patience is key.
Sometimes we are better at noticing when other people are not tolerant or patient. How about improving this in your own life too.
The more patient we become, the better we will feel.
Even within a group of people with shared values there is a definite call for patience and tolerance.
We can all benefit from a little more patience and tolerance at times.
This Pattern by Dr Richard Bandler is useful for extending patience and tolerance.
I have modified it slightly because NLP is fun when you make things work for yourself.
No one pattern will be the same for everyone.
You also can make adjustments that achieve your own desired results.
Step 1
a) Think of a time you were very successful in demonstrating great patience, empathy and tolerance.
b) Begin to notice the feelings, and the direction they spin in naturally
c) Amplify the sensation as you become more aware of the spinning movement
Step 2
Think of a situation you would like to show more patience etc in next time
Step 3
a) Practice by spinning the feelings of Patience, Empathy and Tolerance and any other positive feeling which will help you to gain the desired state.
b) Engage all the senses of the challenge that usually pushes those buttons.
c) Continue to spin the pleasurable feelings despite any feelings of annoyance until they fade away.
d) Amplify the annoyance and play with shapes and sizes to see how it affects the whole mood.
e) Keep going until the feelings are all pleasure.
f) Top it off by Internally noting how good natured you are as a reward
Step 4
Continue to rehearse mental and physical drills often before the event, it will become second nature to your mind to access these states the more familiar they become.
Step 5
Add a Physical movement to the process, an anchor, this will help you to "Flip a switch to the desired behavior" as soon as you become aware of the need.
Step 6
Adjust and add more or less of the bits that seem right for you, make this pattern your own and have fun with it.
The clearer you get with your intentions, the more the unconscious mind will know exactly what you mean. And the more associated you will become to your outcomes.
If you like this NLP Blog then be sure to share it with more people who will benefit too.
There are over 200 more Empowering articles to enjoy and remember NLP is Fun so enjoy the whole experience.
Thanks for reading, Speak soon.
As an NLP Practitioner we have multiple tools to improve our "Model of the world".
There are multiple patterns we can use to Align higher values with other people as well as maintaining our individuality.
This is effective communication. To be able to relate more and create rapport.
A necessary aspect of this is tolerance of other peoples beliefs.
People experience life differently and may not agree with you on every single thing.
When this happens compassion, tolerance and patience are very useful.
Could you do with a little more patience ?.
Perhaps we all can, To be patient and tolerant also equates to how flexible you can be.
Remember the person with the most flexibility wins
We are all different, and yet we also have lots of things in common.
Would you like to relate to other people who have different beliefs than us.
The more people we can relate to, the more effective we will be in our communication and in our life.
In any relationship Tolerance and patience is key.
Sometimes we are better at noticing when other people are not tolerant or patient. How about improving this in your own life too.
The more patient we become, the better we will feel.
Even within a group of people with shared values there is a definite call for patience and tolerance.
We can all benefit from a little more patience and tolerance at times.
This Pattern by Dr Richard Bandler is useful for extending patience and tolerance.
I have modified it slightly because NLP is fun when you make things work for yourself.
No one pattern will be the same for everyone.
You also can make adjustments that achieve your own desired results.
Step 1
a) Think of a time you were very successful in demonstrating great patience, empathy and tolerance.
b) Begin to notice the feelings, and the direction they spin in naturally
c) Amplify the sensation as you become more aware of the spinning movement
Step 2
Think of a situation you would like to show more patience etc in next time
Step 3
a) Practice by spinning the feelings of Patience, Empathy and Tolerance and any other positive feeling which will help you to gain the desired state.
b) Engage all the senses of the challenge that usually pushes those buttons.
c) Continue to spin the pleasurable feelings despite any feelings of annoyance until they fade away.
d) Amplify the annoyance and play with shapes and sizes to see how it affects the whole mood.
e) Keep going until the feelings are all pleasure.
f) Top it off by Internally noting how good natured you are as a reward
Step 4
Continue to rehearse mental and physical drills often before the event, it will become second nature to your mind to access these states the more familiar they become.
Step 5
Add a Physical movement to the process, an anchor, this will help you to "Flip a switch to the desired behavior" as soon as you become aware of the need.
Step 6
Adjust and add more or less of the bits that seem right for you, make this pattern your own and have fun with it.
The clearer you get with your intentions, the more the unconscious mind will know exactly what you mean. And the more associated you will become to your outcomes.
If you like this NLP Blog then be sure to share it with more people who will benefit too.
There are over 200 more Empowering articles to enjoy and remember NLP is Fun so enjoy the whole experience.
Thanks for reading, Speak soon.
Friday, December 2, 2011
Mix and Mingle with us this Sunday
We will be having an Informal Mix and Mingle on Sunday December 4th come and ask questions meet others, Network discuss and enjoy a wine tasting with us, This is all complimentary.
bring your friends and find out more about the types of meeting we have.
Make new suggestions and in general mix and mingle with other interesting people.
We look forward to seeing you and having a blast for the years end.
I will be in the Total Wine Education room at Boca Park 2pm - 4pm for those of you who want to come and discuss issues, Hang out with some cool people, ask advise and more.
I look forward to seeing you there.
Nadia.
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
NLP - Language Pattern - But Don't
In NLP and Hypnosis we often use language patterns purposefully that we are already really familiar with and using at unconscious levels to get what we want.
In this case I have put together a few examples of how we can stack language pattern combinations in just one sentence.
Remember words are powerful and evoke responses at an unconscious level by mere suggestion, ask any Hypnotist, Business Person, Mother, Wife, Husband, Teacher, Coach, Trainer, Leader, Manager, Poet, Storyteller , Historian ...... What we all have in common is the power to make progress and influence the end result.
Remember words are powerful and evoke responses at an unconscious level by mere suggestion, ask any Hypnotist, Business Person, Mother, Wife, Husband, Teacher, Coach, Trainer, Leader, Manager, Poet, Storyteller , Historian ...... What we all have in common is the power to make progress and influence the end result.
Let us have some more fun with Language, when learning new language patterns Keep it simple, practice and build it up with experiences.
The better you get at them the more combinations you can stack together and use them in Hypnosis intended to make progress with your suggestions for light, conversational, waking and Deep Trance.
Have you ever heard anything like this before ?
Have you ever heard anything like this before ?
We can find multiple language patterns in each of these statements But Don't concern yourself with that, First focus on how many way's you can find to include "But Don't" in your own sentences to influence an outcome in your favor.
Like this:
Q) Would you like a cup of Tea
A) Are you having one ... I will if you are But Don't make one just for me ..
This Pattern will be useful when you use it tomorrow to get what you want but don't take my word for it just remember last time you heard these patterns work seamlessly for yourself.
Examples:
" That nail polish you like is on sale at the department store"
"Really are you going that way, I would love to get some more of that fire engine red color, But don't bother to go out of your way just for me
I know your eyelids are getting heavier but don't close them just yet before you relax a bit more and take another deep breath now just for me ..
The yellow dress looks the best on you but don't wear the one I like please yourself if you prefer the other one.
Having fun with words can be a great way to challenge your mind but don't get too good at it will you
You probably will realize you are using these word combinations already But Don't forget to use great rapport at the same time other wise they may come across as too pushy.
And Also
Have some fun with it But don't Like and share my blog post so you can continue to be head and shoulders above the competition.
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Changing a habit read this First
Have you ever tried to change a behavior and Fallen Flat ?
How much harder does that become when people have seen you miss the mark on your target.
For example a New Years Resolution ...
Learn how to achieve the right starting point to achieve success by watching the following Video
Remember Those of us who have ever attempted any improvement probably have experience of over coming obstacles along the way too.
Nisada Coaching
 |
| Check out this helpful Affirmation from Wayne Dyer |
For example a New Years Resolution ...
Learn how to achieve the right starting point to achieve success by watching the following Video
Remember Those of us who have ever attempted any improvement probably have experience of over coming obstacles along the way too.
Nisada Coaching
Monday, November 28, 2011
Let's get Real about the Important stuff
K.I.S.S.
Oftentimes people can create complex strategies that prove unpractical and may even miss the forest for the trees, loosing focus of the greater picture.
Can you think of a situation that you have made more complex than necessary ?
Do you want the Good or Bad first ?
Feeling great about ourselves for no particular reason at all is just that simple
Why .... No particular reason ... at all.
Other than it just feels great, and the opposite feels bad doesn't it !
How will you train your mind to work the best for you .. starting right now ?
And What if ...
What happens when you ask yourself "What Stands between me and my happiness" ?
Nisada Coaching
Oftentimes people can create complex strategies that prove unpractical and may even miss the forest for the trees, loosing focus of the greater picture.
Can you think of a situation that you have made more complex than necessary ?
Do you want the Good or Bad first ?
Feeling great about ourselves for no particular reason at all is just that simple
Why .... No particular reason ... at all.
Other than it just feels great, and the opposite feels bad doesn't it !
How will you train your mind to work the best for you .. starting right now ?
And What if ...
What happens when you ask yourself "What Stands between me and my happiness" ?
Nisada Coaching
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
What is Unconscious Competence
We are all unique individuals and as such have unique ways of learning new things, adapting to change, Improving and making progress.
First Things First
As a preliminary measure before even beginning any new development / Teaching process It is mandatory the Teacher must understand that each subject will require the following:
A willingness to proceed
A Commitment to the process
A flexible and win win approach
A strategy for self management during the process
A strategy to Test the Process = T.O.T.E model
A marker to know when one has succeeded
A reward that is a compelling motivation to the subject
All of these can be threaded into this model, and my recommendation is a strong application of the Meta Model in understanding the beginning stages.
Create a Plan
Using NLP gives a variety of techniques to use in order to be flexible.
This next process is a way of gauging where a person is at the beginning stages of a new process.
The new process can be in any environment where He/She will learn something new.
To understand where each person is at within this matrix will help identify your development approach.
When learning new things or creating a change in any behavior there are the following 4 levels of competence to consider.
1. Unconscious incompetence
The person is blissfully unaware of their level of deficiency in the behavior, model or action.
Example:
Riding a bike and falling off / bumping in to things, as they refuse any help or suggestion and attempt to ride the bike faster.
2. Conscious incompetence
The Person is now aware there are areas in need of improvement, and aware of their gap in understanding how to achieve excellence in this area.
Example:
They are aware there is a technique involve to riding a bike, and have understood the necessity of learning the process, even though they may need more time upfront to learn the new process. They understand the significant gap in their skill set and the advantages of acquiring the skill.
3.Conscious competence
The person is learning the new behavior, action, process in the best way possible for them.
Example:
They are learning the new useful application of the process, and are doing well riding with Training wheels, they have not yet become as confident as they will in their new skill.
4.Unconscious competence
The person has locked on to the information and demonstrated their fluency in application, they can maintain the process without thinking.
Example:
The Process has become second nature to them, they can skillfully ride the Bike without being nervous of falling off, if they fall off they jump back on again. They are confident in their applications of this skill set.
To your success
Nisada Coaching
First Things First
As a preliminary measure before even beginning any new development / Teaching process It is mandatory the Teacher must understand that each subject will require the following:
A willingness to proceed
A Commitment to the process
A flexible and win win approach
A strategy for self management during the process
A strategy to Test the Process = T.O.T.E model
A marker to know when one has succeeded
A reward that is a compelling motivation to the subject
All of these can be threaded into this model, and my recommendation is a strong application of the Meta Model in understanding the beginning stages.
Create a Plan
Using NLP gives a variety of techniques to use in order to be flexible.
This next process is a way of gauging where a person is at the beginning stages of a new process.
The new process can be in any environment where He/She will learn something new.
To understand where each person is at within this matrix will help identify your development approach.
When learning new things or creating a change in any behavior there are the following 4 levels of competence to consider.
1. Unconscious incompetence
The person is blissfully unaware of their level of deficiency in the behavior, model or action.
Example:
Riding a bike and falling off / bumping in to things, as they refuse any help or suggestion and attempt to ride the bike faster.
2. Conscious incompetence
The Person is now aware there are areas in need of improvement, and aware of their gap in understanding how to achieve excellence in this area.
Example:
They are aware there is a technique involve to riding a bike, and have understood the necessity of learning the process, even though they may need more time upfront to learn the new process. They understand the significant gap in their skill set and the advantages of acquiring the skill.
3.Conscious competence
The person is learning the new behavior, action, process in the best way possible for them.
Example:
They are learning the new useful application of the process, and are doing well riding with Training wheels, they have not yet become as confident as they will in their new skill.
4.Unconscious competence
The person has locked on to the information and demonstrated their fluency in application, they can maintain the process without thinking.
Example:
The Process has become second nature to them, they can skillfully ride the Bike without being nervous of falling off, if they fall off they jump back on again. They are confident in their applications of this skill set.
To your success
Nisada Coaching
Monday, November 21, 2011
Change your mood quickly with Positive Anchors
Since we are sensory beings we should take every opportunity to use what is already available to change moods in ourselves and others.
We can find Anchors that we already have set, and fire them when we like.
Another word for an Anchor is a Conditioned response. Something we react to without really thinking about it.
Anchoring becomes part of our hard wiring locked into our neurology and can be used to create great responses when we like.
If you would like to take it a step further and learn about Chaining Anchors then check out the post.
On the other hand some triggers are not useful and create moods in us that take us to unhappy places, this can happen repeatedly in people and they may not even notice.
Here are some positive Anchors I can think of.
Auditory / Sounds = That Trigger strong Emotion
Bob Marley = Strong positive mood
You Try Any:
love Song
Nursery rhyme
Great Dance song
Song from your Youth
Important Speech
Or more ..
I used to hear Bob Playing more than a little bit when I was a child, so listening to him at any time creates strong positive feelings, and reminds me of what I wanted to achieve as a child.
Olfactory / Smells = That Trigger strong Emotion
Cream Coconut = Happy
You Try Any:
Food
Perfume
House cleaning agent
Rain
And more ..
I cannot smell this without thinking about Happy times when I was a little girl and waiting for the Rice and Peas to cook every Sunday. just smelling it takes me back to those, and many times since.
Kinesthetic / Touch = That Trigger strong Emotion
Angora Wool = Cozy
You Try Any:
Texture of any kind
Cold / Hot
Anything you can feel that quickly triggers an Emotion
I remember the power of Angora against the freezing cold snow to the point where I could even be too warm in this lovely wool.
Gustatory / Taste = That Trigger strong Emotion
Tomato Sandwich = Fulfillment
You Try Any:
Taste that takes you to another mood and place
I remember our Family enjoying Tomato Sandwiches and relaxing together, on picnics and more.
Visual / Seeing = That Trigger strong Emotion
The Beach = A combination of lots of different positive feelings
You Try Any:
Visual that instantly changes your mood.
This Visual pulls deep into other sensory experience
For example:
I can smell it
I can see it
I can imagine how the sand feels
I can taste the Salty water
I can hear the seagulls and waves crashing
Notice
The more the senses are engaged the more powerful the feeling.
Have fun with it.
We can find Anchors that we already have set, and fire them when we like.
Another word for an Anchor is a Conditioned response. Something we react to without really thinking about it.
Anchoring becomes part of our hard wiring locked into our neurology and can be used to create great responses when we like.
If you would like to take it a step further and learn about Chaining Anchors then check out the post.
On the other hand some triggers are not useful and create moods in us that take us to unhappy places, this can happen repeatedly in people and they may not even notice.
Here are some positive Anchors I can think of.
Auditory / Sounds = That Trigger strong Emotion
Bob Marley = Strong positive mood
You Try Any:
love Song
Nursery rhyme
Great Dance song
Song from your Youth
Important Speech
Or more ..
I used to hear Bob Playing more than a little bit when I was a child, so listening to him at any time creates strong positive feelings, and reminds me of what I wanted to achieve as a child.
Olfactory / Smells = That Trigger strong Emotion
Cream Coconut = Happy
You Try Any:
Food
Perfume
House cleaning agent
Rain
And more ..
I cannot smell this without thinking about Happy times when I was a little girl and waiting for the Rice and Peas to cook every Sunday. just smelling it takes me back to those, and many times since.
Kinesthetic / Touch = That Trigger strong Emotion
Angora Wool = Cozy
You Try Any:
Texture of any kind
Cold / Hot
Anything you can feel that quickly triggers an Emotion
I remember the power of Angora against the freezing cold snow to the point where I could even be too warm in this lovely wool.
Gustatory / Taste = That Trigger strong Emotion
Tomato Sandwich = Fulfillment
You Try Any:
Taste that takes you to another mood and place
I remember our Family enjoying Tomato Sandwiches and relaxing together, on picnics and more.
Visual / Seeing = That Trigger strong Emotion
The Beach = A combination of lots of different positive feelings
You Try Any:
Visual that instantly changes your mood.
This Visual pulls deep into other sensory experience
For example:
I can smell it
I can see it
I can imagine how the sand feels
I can taste the Salty water
I can hear the seagulls and waves crashing
Notice
The more the senses are engaged the more powerful the feeling.
Have fun with it.
Friday, November 18, 2011
So you want to learn NLP
I started this Blog to show people that learning NLP can be fun and easy.
So in NLP speak some of the Presuppositions in this statement then are:
Here are some Presuppositions
NLP is not fun
There are people
People are interested in learning NLP
People can have fun,
Learning NLP is going to be Fun
Perhaps you have already attended one of our NLP Trainings before and learned how to think outside of the
Box while having fun with us. NLP has a unique set of Tools that quickly and easily help us put together strategies to think outside of the box.
Make Sense
To create lasting change in our thinking, feeling, seeing, hearing = which makes perfect sense, doesn't it since we are always calibrating with our senses becomes a realistic Outcome.
Our Main NLP study site in NLP is Fun in Las Vegas where I first founded The number one NLP and Hypnosis Study group in Las Vegas over 4 years ago now.
Our largest area's of focus are Teaching life time tools to busy professional people who come to us at various stages in their NLP development.
Some want to learn NLP and have no knowledge of it, but have heard something interesting about it.
Some have read an NLP book and are curious
Some have taken an NLP Course and want some coaching and direction in how to use NLP
Some have been studying NLP for years and want to find new and creative ways to use NLP in special situations
Some are Trainers of NLP and want to learn how to breakthrough their own barriers
Some want to focus on one learning area or niche to become and expert in one specific area
Although we all want different things usually the common ground is Improvement. Which is:
"I want to Improve my understanding of NLP".
Sound Familiar
As a strategist, I wanted to understand why some people were not more confident in their applications of NLP.
I learned that NLP is often taught in a way that is hard to follow and know what you know.
Some NLP Trainers teach NLP at an unconscious level and provide unconscious installations only and then you go home and don't really know what you know, but you know you know something new and different and your pretty sure your life is improved.
Then somebody asks you what did you learn .. and you don't know.
Sound familiar ?
Some NLP trainers Teach Meticulous rigid and boring NLP theory and lofty ideas about unconscious applications that never quite get off the ground in practice. Then you can speak about NLP at length and sound as if you know what you are talking about to somebody who has less knowledge than you and you cannot and do not apply NLP in every day life.
Take out the guesswork
My Take on it is a combination of Unconscious Installation, Living metaphor and Theory I have found NLP can be learned much easier and more joyfully applied easily using this combination.
A light trance state is usually appealing and can help get past the what if madness of focusing on what they don't know that people may loop while learning new important information.
Just like Nike said __________ Do it !
At this time of year we typically slow things down a bit on our training's and take stock of what we have learned in 2011. We fine tune and prepare our exciting and brand new programmes for 2012 at the moment we have two more training's to deliver in 2011.
What about you what will you reprogramme in 2012 ?
If you like NLP is fun then you will love
If you would like to know more about how we do NLP Like our new page on Facebook and receive our regular updates.
Remember Thinking outside of the box creates more choices, and the person with the largest arsenal of choices Wins, so give it a shot.
What can you do to begin to think outside of the Box today ?
Nisada Coaching
So in NLP speak some of the Presuppositions in this statement then are:
Here are some Presuppositions
NLP is not fun
There are people
People are interested in learning NLP
People can have fun,
Learning NLP is going to be Fun
Box while having fun with us. NLP has a unique set of Tools that quickly and easily help us put together strategies to think outside of the box.
Make Sense
To create lasting change in our thinking, feeling, seeing, hearing = which makes perfect sense, doesn't it since we are always calibrating with our senses becomes a realistic Outcome.
Our Main NLP study site in NLP is Fun in Las Vegas where I first founded The number one NLP and Hypnosis Study group in Las Vegas over 4 years ago now.
Our largest area's of focus are Teaching life time tools to busy professional people who come to us at various stages in their NLP development.
Some want to learn NLP and have no knowledge of it, but have heard something interesting about it.
Some have read an NLP book and are curious
Some have taken an NLP Course and want some coaching and direction in how to use NLP
Some have been studying NLP for years and want to find new and creative ways to use NLP in special situations
Some are Trainers of NLP and want to learn how to breakthrough their own barriers
Some want to focus on one learning area or niche to become and expert in one specific area
Although we all want different things usually the common ground is Improvement. Which is:
"I want to Improve my understanding of NLP".
Sound Familiar
As a strategist, I wanted to understand why some people were not more confident in their applications of NLP.
I learned that NLP is often taught in a way that is hard to follow and know what you know.
Some NLP Trainers teach NLP at an unconscious level and provide unconscious installations only and then you go home and don't really know what you know, but you know you know something new and different and your pretty sure your life is improved.
Then somebody asks you what did you learn .. and you don't know.
Sound familiar ?
Some NLP trainers Teach Meticulous rigid and boring NLP theory and lofty ideas about unconscious applications that never quite get off the ground in practice. Then you can speak about NLP at length and sound as if you know what you are talking about to somebody who has less knowledge than you and you cannot and do not apply NLP in every day life.
Take out the guesswork
My Take on it is a combination of Unconscious Installation, Living metaphor and Theory I have found NLP can be learned much easier and more joyfully applied easily using this combination.
A light trance state is usually appealing and can help get past the what if madness of focusing on what they don't know that people may loop while learning new important information.
Just like Nike said __________ Do it !
At this time of year we typically slow things down a bit on our training's and take stock of what we have learned in 2011. We fine tune and prepare our exciting and brand new programmes for 2012 at the moment we have two more training's to deliver in 2011.
What about you what will you reprogramme in 2012 ?
If you like NLP is fun then you will love
If you would like to know more about how we do NLP Like our new page on Facebook and receive our regular updates.
Remember Thinking outside of the box creates more choices, and the person with the largest arsenal of choices Wins, so give it a shot.
What can you do to begin to think outside of the Box today ?
Nisada Coaching
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Clean Change
Many of you will remember I interviewed Judy Rees co author of Clean Language which is a brilliant simple and effective book which I highly recommend.
If you don't have your copy yet, you can purchase one here below.
What you may not know is, I was also her first video's demo subject for the Clean change cards Want to see ?
I must warn you at one point there is a little background noise as we were in her Garden but I wouldn't let that stop you from gaining from the conversation. Just thinking of it now, I remember just what a pleasure Judy is to speak to and how much we enjoyed ourselves that day in her lovely English Garden.
So for those of you who had difficulty hearing past the Overhead untimely airplanes here is a list of the Clean Language Questions.
Developing Questions
And what kind of X is that ?
And is there anything else about X ?
And where is X and whereabouts is X ?
and that is X like what ?
And is there a relationship between X and Y ?
And when X what happens to Y ?
Sequence and source Questions
And then what happens ? / And what happens next ?
And what happens just before X ?
And where could X come from ?
Intention questions
And what would X like to have happen ?
And what needs to happen for X ?
And can X happen ?
So lets Do another Demo
The Questions are in Bold
The Answers are below
Developing Questions
Opening statement : Using Clean Language is another great resource to add to your toolset
Q) And what kind of toolset is that
A) more skills to get more thorough results
Q) Is there anything else about your toolset
A) yes it is always growing
Q) And where is your toolset
A) In my head /In my heart
Q) And that is head like / And that is heart like
A) clever / Love
Q) And is there a relationship between Head and Heart
A) Yes, I love being clever
Q) And when Clever what happens to heart
A) Heart is full and happy
Sequence and source questions
Q )And when you are Happy what happens next
A) All is well with the world
Q) And what happens just before All is well with the world
A) All is not well with the world and I am afraid
Q) And where could fear come from
A) Fear of failure
Intention questions
Q) And what would Happy like to have happen
A) I would like to have more of it
Q) And what needs to happen for more of it
A) I need to believe I can have it
Q) And can you be happy
A) Yes I can be happy
Can you understand how using these questions in combination or separately can add to your refining the outcomes in your coaching and internal processes.
Have some fun with them, I look forward to knowing your progress.
Nisada Coaching
If you don't have your copy yet, you can purchase one here below.
What you may not know is, I was also her first video's demo subject for the Clean change cards Want to see ?
I must warn you at one point there is a little background noise as we were in her Garden but I wouldn't let that stop you from gaining from the conversation. Just thinking of it now, I remember just what a pleasure Judy is to speak to and how much we enjoyed ourselves that day in her lovely English Garden.
So for those of you who had difficulty hearing past the Overhead untimely airplanes here is a list of the Clean Language Questions.
Developing Questions
And what kind of X is that ?
And is there anything else about X ?
And where is X and whereabouts is X ?
and that is X like what ?
And is there a relationship between X and Y ?
And when X what happens to Y ?
Sequence and source Questions
And then what happens ? / And what happens next ?
And what happens just before X ?
And where could X come from ?
Intention questions
And what would X like to have happen ?
And what needs to happen for X ?
And can X happen ?
So lets Do another Demo
The Questions are in Bold
The Answers are below
Developing Questions
Opening statement : Using Clean Language is another great resource to add to your toolset
Q) And what kind of toolset is that
A) more skills to get more thorough results
Q) Is there anything else about your toolset
A) yes it is always growing
Q) And where is your toolset
A) In my head /In my heart
Q) And that is head like / And that is heart like
A) clever / Love
Q) And is there a relationship between Head and Heart
A) Yes, I love being clever
Q) And when Clever what happens to heart
A) Heart is full and happy
Sequence and source questions
Q )And when you are Happy what happens next
A) All is well with the world
Q) And what happens just before All is well with the world
A) All is not well with the world and I am afraid
Q) And where could fear come from
A) Fear of failure
Intention questions
Q) And what would Happy like to have happen
A) I would like to have more of it
Q) And what needs to happen for more of it
A) I need to believe I can have it
Q) And can you be happy
A) Yes I can be happy
Can you understand how using these questions in combination or separately can add to your refining the outcomes in your coaching and internal processes.
Have some fun with them, I look forward to knowing your progress.
Nisada Coaching
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Entrancing Tales with the English sisters | NLP is Fun
Have you ever tried to learn and new language and found it overwhelming and given up ?
Meet The English Sisters.
All successful Trainers and Leaders know that Learning new things is always state dependent which means, if you feel great as you are learning, learning becomes easy and fun.
If you feel bad while you are learning, you will become reluctant to continue learning and you will loose confidence in your application ability.
If you want to learn something new the best way to do it is enjoy it, have small fun chunks and begin to reward yourself with successful application and practice.
If it is not fun and easy after time, many slowly let it slip through their fingers and practice less and less until they have come to a grinding halt.
What about you learning NLP what are you doing to make sure you are improving in this area ?
A learning strategy should become a regular habit as it then becomes quite unconscious behavior and bypasses the critical faculty that stands like a watch dog on all new processes.
Quite simply it becomes a part of you and how you do things without even thinking about it.
Here are two such ladies who have been very creative in their applications of Teaching English to Italian speaking language students. "The English sisters" Violeta and Jutka Zuggo use hypnotic language and NLP to teach English.
If you are interested in reading their clever English language book and finding out how they apply these techniques I highly recommend their book Don't Learn English smile .
You can also use it to learn Italian too so give it a go.
I am very pleased to be friends of yours for all of these years Violeta and Jutka Zuggo.
If you want to relax and enjoy more of the English sisters watch their video channel called HypnoRamblings . I will tell you they are pretty addictive once you watch one, you will be deliciously hooked on these beautiful and entertaining sisters.
They even have a book out called "Entrancing Tales for a change", which is about motivating change in people btw a great use of language in their title. I have a treasured hand signed copy.
Here is their Amazon page
Just love these Ladies, they have also written Beautiful Children's Book and how to get stress free in 3 minutes. They offer such a valuable contribution.
The Violeta and Jutka Zuggo of (The English sisters) are pioneers and have created their own category in everything they have gone after.
They have made their mark as Language teachers, Authors and now Luxury vintage lighting, you can go to their website here.
The English sisters are fabulous net workers and great Businesswomen to model. You can connect with them by liking them on Facebook and following their updates on Twitter.
What about you, what will you Pioneer, what will you create ?
The English sisters have shown us, That flexibility and determination is key and whatever you do, be sure to have some fun with it along the way.
If you like this NLP Blog then be sure to share it with more people who will benefit too.
There are over 200 more Empowering articles to enjoy and remember NLP is Fun so enjoy the whole experience.
Thanks for reading, Speak soon.
Meet The English Sisters.
All successful Trainers and Leaders know that Learning new things is always state dependent which means, if you feel great as you are learning, learning becomes easy and fun.
If you feel bad while you are learning, you will become reluctant to continue learning and you will loose confidence in your application ability.
If you want to learn something new the best way to do it is enjoy it, have small fun chunks and begin to reward yourself with successful application and practice.
If it is not fun and easy after time, many slowly let it slip through their fingers and practice less and less until they have come to a grinding halt.
What about you learning NLP what are you doing to make sure you are improving in this area ?
A learning strategy should become a regular habit as it then becomes quite unconscious behavior and bypasses the critical faculty that stands like a watch dog on all new processes.
Quite simply it becomes a part of you and how you do things without even thinking about it.
Here are two such ladies who have been very creative in their applications of Teaching English to Italian speaking language students. "The English sisters" Violeta and Jutka Zuggo use hypnotic language and NLP to teach English.
If you are interested in reading their clever English language book and finding out how they apply these techniques I highly recommend their book Don't Learn English smile .
You can also use it to learn Italian too so give it a go.
 |
| I even got a mention in the book |
If you want to relax and enjoy more of the English sisters watch their video channel called HypnoRamblings . I will tell you they are pretty addictive once you watch one, you will be deliciously hooked on these beautiful and entertaining sisters.
They even have a book out called "Entrancing Tales for a change", which is about motivating change in people btw a great use of language in their title. I have a treasured hand signed copy.
Just love these Ladies, they have also written Beautiful Children's Book and how to get stress free in 3 minutes. They offer such a valuable contribution.
The Violeta and Jutka Zuggo of (The English sisters) are pioneers and have created their own category in everything they have gone after.
They have made their mark as Language teachers, Authors and now Luxury vintage lighting, you can go to their website here.
The English sisters are fabulous net workers and great Businesswomen to model. You can connect with them by liking them on Facebook and following their updates on Twitter.
What about you, what will you Pioneer, what will you create ?
The English sisters have shown us, That flexibility and determination is key and whatever you do, be sure to have some fun with it along the way.
If you like this NLP Blog then be sure to share it with more people who will benefit too.
There are over 200 more Empowering articles to enjoy and remember NLP is Fun so enjoy the whole experience.
Thanks for reading, Speak soon.
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
5 Hypnotic Every day Language patterns
The Following 5 Hypnotic language patterns that can be used in Hypnosis for deep suggestions and also all aspects of life and business.
Milton model language is beautiful for business, it is designed to change minds after all, be creative in how you are using your body language and tonality and calibrate.
In using language patterns, congruence is always important for a powerful transmission, remember language patterns can be used as a bridge to getting new results.
You can use them separately or stack them and repeat them in various combinations for those of you who are more advanced in Milton Model and persuasive language.
Have fun with them.
1. "You are going to scream when I tell you what happened"
Here is what you are going to do When This happens.
By the power of suggestion you are embedding this command, people love to know what is going to happen and when used with Tonality and energy this pattern can be used in a variety of ways each and every day.
You are going to be furious when you find out what jack did
You are going to be thrilled when I tell you how much it is
You are going to learn how to ski when you go to Aspen at Christmas
You are going to improve quickly if you keep on practicing
2. I would like to show you how to stack language patterns together
Hey, I am just going to show you these things and what you do with the info is up to you.
Hey, I am only showing you how and the rest is up to you.
I would like to show you how you to get clear skin every single time you use my product
I would like to show you how I became a millionaire in three weeks
I would like to show you how to never get caught cheating again
I would like to show you how to get your baby to sleep in fie minutes flat
3. I wonder whether you are aware of just how powerful these patterns are
a great presupposition of fact, I know about it ... I wonder if you are aware
I wonder if you are aware of just how powerfully loaded this statement is.
I wonder whether you are aware he was top of his class at Harvard
I wonder whether you are aware she is fluent in Japanese
I wonder whether you are aware he has been waiting all night to speak with you
I wonder whether you are aware of just how much detail has gone into this Blog post
4. I would like to suggest that you use one each day as many times as you can think of
I am not telling you directly I am using softeners to suggest, this begins the process of your internal thought process imagining it.
I would like to suggest that you listen to my Idea by strongly and gently softening my statement.
I would like to suggest that you wear your red shoes with that dress
I would like to suggest that you request the st. Germain cocktail for your aperitif
I would like to suggest that you order the Filet mignon for your main course
I would like to suggest that you visit St Barts if you love deep sea diving
5. Imagine how good you will feel when you experience these patterns working for you in your every day language.
Imagine how powerful your communication is becoming when you have new ways to play with language
Imagine how good you will feel when you are enjoying a cozy fireplace with the missus after you have have finished chopping this wood
Imagine how good you will feel when you have the security of knowing your children have been afforded the best education money can buy
Imagine how good you will feel when you are crossing the finish line on your 10k Marathon
Imagine how good you will feel when you can paint a picture in the minds of other people just by using this pattern
Practice, Practice Practice and most of all have fun.
Nisada Coaching
Milton model language is beautiful for business, it is designed to change minds after all, be creative in how you are using your body language and tonality and calibrate.
In using language patterns, congruence is always important for a powerful transmission, remember language patterns can be used as a bridge to getting new results.
You can use them separately or stack them and repeat them in various combinations for those of you who are more advanced in Milton Model and persuasive language.
Have fun with them.
1. "You are going to scream when I tell you what happened"
Here is what you are going to do When This happens.
By the power of suggestion you are embedding this command, people love to know what is going to happen and when used with Tonality and energy this pattern can be used in a variety of ways each and every day.
You are going to be furious when you find out what jack did
You are going to be thrilled when I tell you how much it is
You are going to learn how to ski when you go to Aspen at Christmas
You are going to improve quickly if you keep on practicing
2. I would like to show you how to stack language patterns together
Hey, I am just going to show you these things and what you do with the info is up to you.
Hey, I am only showing you how and the rest is up to you.
I would like to show you how you to get clear skin every single time you use my product
I would like to show you how I became a millionaire in three weeks
I would like to show you how to never get caught cheating again
I would like to show you how to get your baby to sleep in fie minutes flat
3. I wonder whether you are aware of just how powerful these patterns are
a great presupposition of fact, I know about it ... I wonder if you are aware
I wonder if you are aware of just how powerfully loaded this statement is.
I wonder whether you are aware he was top of his class at Harvard
I wonder whether you are aware she is fluent in Japanese
I wonder whether you are aware he has been waiting all night to speak with you
I wonder whether you are aware of just how much detail has gone into this Blog post
4. I would like to suggest that you use one each day as many times as you can think of
I am not telling you directly I am using softeners to suggest, this begins the process of your internal thought process imagining it.
I would like to suggest that you listen to my Idea by strongly and gently softening my statement.
I would like to suggest that you wear your red shoes with that dress
I would like to suggest that you request the st. Germain cocktail for your aperitif
I would like to suggest that you order the Filet mignon for your main course
I would like to suggest that you visit St Barts if you love deep sea diving
5. Imagine how good you will feel when you experience these patterns working for you in your every day language.
Imagine how powerful your communication is becoming when you have new ways to play with language
Imagine how good you will feel when you are enjoying a cozy fireplace with the missus after you have have finished chopping this wood
Imagine how good you will feel when you have the security of knowing your children have been afforded the best education money can buy
Imagine how good you will feel when you are crossing the finish line on your 10k Marathon
Imagine how good you will feel when you can paint a picture in the minds of other people just by using this pattern
Practice, Practice Practice and most of all have fun.
Nisada Coaching
Monday, November 14, 2011
How to Deal with a Difficult Boss | NLP is Fun
Difficult people are everywhere and sooner or later you will stumble on one that can seemingly hold you hostage if you are experiencing a Difficult Manager at work here are some things to consider.
Dissociate from the Problem
The first thing to do is to disengage emotionally, difficult people are usually highly emotional and often lack control in their own emotional management.
In order to gain an objective perspective it is necessary to manage ones own state, especially if you have been attacked or treated unfairly.
Slow down your breathing, slow down your heart rate, the worst thing about being subjected to difficult people and their unreasonable behavior is that it can catch you off guard and take you by surprise.
Maintain a state of certainty about who you are and what you stand for begin to compose yourself and relax in the knowledge of the problem being theirs and not yours resolve any inner conflict.
Take the stuffing out of it
Use Submodalities to make the problem smaller and your original Goal larger. begin to change your state toward a state of neutral calm and objectivity as quickly as you can.
Time wasted on worrying about what to do, drains productivity and prevents you from doing your best work and maintaining your focus to a solution based approach.
Check your perceptual positioning
Imagine yourself flying above the two of you who are in the dispute be honest and objective in learning more about the play.
What really happened ask
What would the energy look like if you could see it ?
could you have done anything better ?
How did the conflict begin ?
Are you willing to be flexible ?
What else can you learn from this experience ?
All you need is .... More Rapport ...
Change your own Feelings and maintain your state
Find a Common ground and Build Rapport, although honestly unless the motivation to stay is super high on your list the effort this takes is not appealing, and this will be an ongoing effort on your part, and not necessarily suitable for long term situations.
Match predicates
Please See above ... this is if you can maintain the motivation to stay and overcome the energy wasted in being able to stay and be productive in this environment.
for most human beings, unless it is a short term proposition , like a sale or negotiation this will not work long term interaction will be a challenge unless you have the necessary support.
Be realistic with yourself
Be reasonable and be kind with yourself, Nobody likes to be abused and set up for failure while trying to be successful in any venture.
If you are at work, weigh up how much of your own personal energy will be drained from the experience, or can you invest time now in resolving this issue and both agree to practical solutions for ongoing resolution in the future.
In some situations communication will only fan the fire and no amount of Rapport will help.However be open and willing to resolve the issue if you still want to be there.
Pick your Battles
Difficult people can be difficult for a variety of reasons so to summarize ask yourself, Has anyone else that you know of had a challenge with this person.
Is this person notorious for making people quit ?
The normal responses are to fight or flight,
Difficult people cost companies allot of money and create an unusually high turnover rate as employees usually will quit if it doesn't seem worth making a stand.
Find out what your company has in position for those who seek resolution and whether it is worth the battle. Understand the structure of the company you are working for and what they are prepared to do for your cause.
Take into consideration that the company has chosen that person in spite of their high turn over rate in their department. Sometimes the high turnover can be swept under the rug and blamed on something else. Sometimes Senior executives hands are tied as they have their hands full already or they will look the other way.
If this is the case ask yourself, is this the best place for me to work at, is any paycheck worth the daily stress and low performance that will ensue in these conditions.
When you are Self Employed:
If you are in Business for yourself ask yourself
Do I enjoy working for this Client.
Is my overall functioning affected because of it.
Do I pass this stress on somewhere
How and where do I find my performance suffering.
Would I like to continue this relationship.
Decide on the resolution
Do further research objectively
Would anyone else agree that this person is unreasonable and makes unreasonable demands.
How do other people manage their relationships with this person
Review the ways that people manage their interaction with this person and decide if it is something you can do too.
Weigh up the pro's and cons
For what purpose would you continue in your position can you improve your relationship with this person remember you can only change your own responses, you cannot demand change from others.
Is there ultimately anything to gain in your Time and investment
What is to be gained if your adjust
What is to be lost if you decide to walk away from the Deal
Consider these Types of Difficult Managers:
The Micro Manager
A Micro manager Fears loosing control and has no trust in your work and will not allow you to work independently, they will sacrifice the importance of their own duties to micro manage yours.
They lack focus and good judgement, and do not understand the importance of delegation, they do not trust themselves and therefore will never trust you.
The more you work independently the more they become suspicious of you and interrupt your projects for an update.
They always look to take credit for your work
The Fool
A Fool will have no clue what they are doing and see you are doing your work competently and become intimidated with your preferred work style.
They will say things like Yes that's right and take credit for your work. They are very scattered they will not know what you are doing or understand your skill set, but pretend they do.
The fool is at a disadvantage and they know it, they will invent stories and rumors to support their emotionally based decisions and they will learn how to say the right things to the right upper level management and will have a dysfunctional relationship with their employees with blurred boundaries that no body can comprehend.
They will expect their employees to mind read their current priority and will have no way of effectively motivating the best work from their staff.
They will be great at one thing and slip through the cracks with the majority of their work and will depend on somebody else to cover for them and they will take the credit.
The Bully
An abusive Boss will be completely erratic emotionally, it is not that you will be surprised when they erupt it will be the combination of highs and lows in their moods that will astonish you.
They lack respect for themselves and others and speak over the top of you when you come to them to seek resolution.
Their strategy is to break people down and conform them to their own bullying system, they lack skill in communication.
They will say whatever they feel, they will shout, scream, and react completely according to their moods in their personal life and with employees and clients.
These emotional abusers will make everyone around them walk on eggshells in order to keep their job., they are unkind and hurtful and are driven by their own fear of failure.
The Slave Driver
The slave driver expects the best from you and wants you to take the job as seriously as they do, they want you to work more hours than you get paid for, commit to the job more than they commit to you and is always threatening you with your Job security.
The slave driver tells you to do something and wants you to drop everything to do it now, no matter what your deadline on any other projects, they want you to do it their way now and only their way. The slave driver leaves no room for communication or discussion when she says jump your response needs to be how high this time.
The slave driver expects you to be loyal to the end to them but does not return any consistent loyalty or kindness back.
This manager sees you as a seat filler only and lives in Desperate fear of their own skill set and worries they will fail to reach the mark themselves.
In Conclusion
In conclusion these decisions can only be made case by case.
If you are an employee, and you find yourself in this situation, my advice is to make a stand for yourself and a positive supportive environment to work in.
If this is not possible, decide what you would like to do about that, and perhaps think of it in relation to how much being there will contribute to your Goals, well formed outcomes and overall well being.
There are a lot of techniques that can be used to resolve and improve this kind of conflict and truthfully without the support of their Superiors it will be an uphill struggle.
If you are an employer and you see some patterns in your own behavior on this post then get the appropriate help to change the way you are doing things from now on.
If you are an employer who has Managers who are terrorizing your staff consider the long term cost of this to your companies development.
How will you retain fresh new talented employees, remember people who have confidence in themselves and their abilities will not stand for this type of dysfunction.
The people who have stayed for their own reasons will not be at Peak performance because they have a loose cannon to contend with which is distracting to productivity.
Please note:
Having a suggestion box is the bare minimum of inter office communication and is not proactive or solution oriented, for people who are being bullied.
If there are political groups within the company, the idea of confidentiality is unbelievable and the effort applied to resolution is tiny compared to the effect of the Tyrant.
If you know you have a Tyrant running Teams in your office, be proactive and accountable yourself.
Resolve the issue before you loose more great people, who are not interested in getting caught up in unnecessary Political red Tape.
To your success.
If you enjoy this NLP Blog then be sure to share it with more people you know will benefit too.
There are over 200 more Empowering articles to love and remember NLP is Fun so you can satisfy your craving for NLP and gain the whole experience.
Thanks for reading, Speak soon.
Dissociate from the Problem
The first thing to do is to disengage emotionally, difficult people are usually highly emotional and often lack control in their own emotional management.
In order to gain an objective perspective it is necessary to manage ones own state, especially if you have been attacked or treated unfairly.
Slow down your breathing, slow down your heart rate, the worst thing about being subjected to difficult people and their unreasonable behavior is that it can catch you off guard and take you by surprise.
Maintain a state of certainty about who you are and what you stand for begin to compose yourself and relax in the knowledge of the problem being theirs and not yours resolve any inner conflict.
Take the stuffing out of it
Use Submodalities to make the problem smaller and your original Goal larger. begin to change your state toward a state of neutral calm and objectivity as quickly as you can.
Time wasted on worrying about what to do, drains productivity and prevents you from doing your best work and maintaining your focus to a solution based approach.
Check your perceptual positioning
Imagine yourself flying above the two of you who are in the dispute be honest and objective in learning more about the play.
What really happened ask
What would the energy look like if you could see it ?
could you have done anything better ?
How did the conflict begin ?
Are you willing to be flexible ?
What else can you learn from this experience ?
All you need is .... More Rapport ...
Change your own Feelings and maintain your state
Find a Common ground and Build Rapport, although honestly unless the motivation to stay is super high on your list the effort this takes is not appealing, and this will be an ongoing effort on your part, and not necessarily suitable for long term situations.
Match predicates
Please See above ... this is if you can maintain the motivation to stay and overcome the energy wasted in being able to stay and be productive in this environment.
for most human beings, unless it is a short term proposition , like a sale or negotiation this will not work long term interaction will be a challenge unless you have the necessary support.
Be realistic with yourself
Be reasonable and be kind with yourself, Nobody likes to be abused and set up for failure while trying to be successful in any venture.
If you are at work, weigh up how much of your own personal energy will be drained from the experience, or can you invest time now in resolving this issue and both agree to practical solutions for ongoing resolution in the future.
In some situations communication will only fan the fire and no amount of Rapport will help.However be open and willing to resolve the issue if you still want to be there.
Pick your Battles
Difficult people can be difficult for a variety of reasons so to summarize ask yourself, Has anyone else that you know of had a challenge with this person.
Is this person notorious for making people quit ?
The normal responses are to fight or flight,
Difficult people cost companies allot of money and create an unusually high turnover rate as employees usually will quit if it doesn't seem worth making a stand.
Find out what your company has in position for those who seek resolution and whether it is worth the battle. Understand the structure of the company you are working for and what they are prepared to do for your cause.
Take into consideration that the company has chosen that person in spite of their high turn over rate in their department. Sometimes the high turnover can be swept under the rug and blamed on something else. Sometimes Senior executives hands are tied as they have their hands full already or they will look the other way.
If this is the case ask yourself, is this the best place for me to work at, is any paycheck worth the daily stress and low performance that will ensue in these conditions.
When you are Self Employed:
If you are in Business for yourself ask yourself
Do I enjoy working for this Client.
Is my overall functioning affected because of it.
Do I pass this stress on somewhere
How and where do I find my performance suffering.
Would I like to continue this relationship.
Decide on the resolution
Do further research objectively
Would anyone else agree that this person is unreasonable and makes unreasonable demands.
How do other people manage their relationships with this person
Review the ways that people manage their interaction with this person and decide if it is something you can do too.
Weigh up the pro's and cons
For what purpose would you continue in your position can you improve your relationship with this person remember you can only change your own responses, you cannot demand change from others.
Is there ultimately anything to gain in your Time and investment
What is to be gained if your adjust
What is to be lost if you decide to walk away from the Deal
Consider these Types of Difficult Managers:
The Micro Manager
A Micro manager Fears loosing control and has no trust in your work and will not allow you to work independently, they will sacrifice the importance of their own duties to micro manage yours.
They lack focus and good judgement, and do not understand the importance of delegation, they do not trust themselves and therefore will never trust you.
The more you work independently the more they become suspicious of you and interrupt your projects for an update.
They always look to take credit for your work
The Fool
A Fool will have no clue what they are doing and see you are doing your work competently and become intimidated with your preferred work style.
They will say things like Yes that's right and take credit for your work. They are very scattered they will not know what you are doing or understand your skill set, but pretend they do.
The fool is at a disadvantage and they know it, they will invent stories and rumors to support their emotionally based decisions and they will learn how to say the right things to the right upper level management and will have a dysfunctional relationship with their employees with blurred boundaries that no body can comprehend.
They will expect their employees to mind read their current priority and will have no way of effectively motivating the best work from their staff.
They will be great at one thing and slip through the cracks with the majority of their work and will depend on somebody else to cover for them and they will take the credit.
The Bully
An abusive Boss will be completely erratic emotionally, it is not that you will be surprised when they erupt it will be the combination of highs and lows in their moods that will astonish you.
They lack respect for themselves and others and speak over the top of you when you come to them to seek resolution.
Their strategy is to break people down and conform them to their own bullying system, they lack skill in communication.
They will say whatever they feel, they will shout, scream, and react completely according to their moods in their personal life and with employees and clients.
These emotional abusers will make everyone around them walk on eggshells in order to keep their job., they are unkind and hurtful and are driven by their own fear of failure.
The Slave Driver
The slave driver expects the best from you and wants you to take the job as seriously as they do, they want you to work more hours than you get paid for, commit to the job more than they commit to you and is always threatening you with your Job security.
The slave driver tells you to do something and wants you to drop everything to do it now, no matter what your deadline on any other projects, they want you to do it their way now and only their way. The slave driver leaves no room for communication or discussion when she says jump your response needs to be how high this time.
The slave driver expects you to be loyal to the end to them but does not return any consistent loyalty or kindness back.
This manager sees you as a seat filler only and lives in Desperate fear of their own skill set and worries they will fail to reach the mark themselves.
In Conclusion
In conclusion these decisions can only be made case by case.
If you are an employee, and you find yourself in this situation, my advice is to make a stand for yourself and a positive supportive environment to work in.
If this is not possible, decide what you would like to do about that, and perhaps think of it in relation to how much being there will contribute to your Goals, well formed outcomes and overall well being.
There are a lot of techniques that can be used to resolve and improve this kind of conflict and truthfully without the support of their Superiors it will be an uphill struggle.
If you are an employer and you see some patterns in your own behavior on this post then get the appropriate help to change the way you are doing things from now on.
If you are an employer who has Managers who are terrorizing your staff consider the long term cost of this to your companies development.
How will you retain fresh new talented employees, remember people who have confidence in themselves and their abilities will not stand for this type of dysfunction.
The people who have stayed for their own reasons will not be at Peak performance because they have a loose cannon to contend with which is distracting to productivity.
Please note:
Having a suggestion box is the bare minimum of inter office communication and is not proactive or solution oriented, for people who are being bullied.
If there are political groups within the company, the idea of confidentiality is unbelievable and the effort applied to resolution is tiny compared to the effect of the Tyrant.
If you know you have a Tyrant running Teams in your office, be proactive and accountable yourself.
Resolve the issue before you loose more great people, who are not interested in getting caught up in unnecessary Political red Tape.
To your success.
If you enjoy this NLP Blog then be sure to share it with more people you know will benefit too.
There are over 200 more Empowering articles to love and remember NLP is Fun so you can satisfy your craving for NLP and gain the whole experience.
Thanks for reading, Speak soon.
Monday, November 7, 2011
How to stop procrastination Now
"He was forever taken aback by [New York's] pervasive atmosphere of purposefulness the tight focus of its drivers, the brisk intensity of its pedestrians" (Anne Tyler).
The number one reason that people procrastinate and loose time is that they loose focus and become overwhelmed.
They take their senses and focus off their Goal and move to a larger,more sensory acute picture of something else. Something else can be anything that creates a type of Hypnosis over their attention and becomes bigger than the original Goal.
Park your outcome at the forefront of your mind until you get it
Park your outcome at the forefront of your mind until you get it
If we were to ask people about their submodalities while they are wanting help with focus we will note that the Goal is further away and in some way obscured from attainment (reach/view/sound) thus depleting the emotion and intensity from it being achievable.
Decide to stay Focused
Decide to stay Focused
Getting distracted is rarely logical and quite often emotional, a feeling that is less then desirable seems to somehow wash ones earlier best intentions away.
It is usually not until much later that one realizes they have been distracted and by then they have no idea where to begin again ... and so they don't.
Make it compelling Motivate yourself
And yet strangely from time to time a reminder says "I must" do _____________ pops up and "Must" being a model operator of necessity is hardly compelling and especially compared to "I really want to" ___________
Just Imagine how it will be when you have it
One of the best ways to change this is to create a trance of having the end result, a trance after all is just a suggestion that does not need to ponder what if at every avenue.
A light trance after all can be compared to a vivid day dream, like a mini break, an infusion of happiness a cocktail of delight even a moment of paradise.
Create a Plan and Prioritize
People rarely plan to fail but by not planning and prioritizing their time and commitments often do.
Emotions are helpful in sensory awareness and calibration but also are way more useful when managed, think of emotions like soda bubbles nice if you have a few in your soda but too many and it fizzes over leaving a sticky mess over absolutely everything when you least expect it and nothing sweet or cold to drink.
Check your emotions at the Door
If a person where to respond emotionally more often than not it can be difficult to predict any consistency in purposeful productivity, and yet easy to predict an emotional eruption sooner or later.
Manage yourself and begin to notice if and when your emotions are getting the best of you. commit to taking control of your own state of mind and well being.
NLP has numerous ways to help you with this, just pick one.
Let me know how you get on.
To your success
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Changing outcomes in communication
NLP is an extensive variety of skills that can be applied to any genre that you can think of to improve it and communication is a huge part of this.
Internal representation
If you would like to improve anything outside of yourself you must first improve the ways that you represent information inside of yourself.
Feel great for no reason at all ... It feels Great
The way you feel is a great indicator as to how and if you are staying on course with your own self management.
Consider the impact of your non verbal communication first
The way you feel is communicated to others through the way that you communicate first Non verbally and then Verbally.
Calibrating Rapport, pacing and leading are all parts of excellent communication, we should understand that communication is much like dancing, and their are people who can dance, people who can dance well and Dancers.
Any easy way to gauge how you are communicating is to ask yourself, how do I feel in this moment.
If the answer is great then this is a solid foundation for communicating well.
Communication is much like a Dance
After all even if a Dancer was excellent if they performed while in a really bad mood and were not able to maintain sync with their partner they would have a bad performance.
Often times sensory awareness begins before even non verbal communication, people can get a sense of how you are communicating with yourself, the world and or them at an instinctual level.
Set the Emotional Tone
In fact Dancing is completely non verbal and yet we really enjoy the emotion that is communicated in Dance, and we expect to be impacted by the emotion, don't we.
As you know communicating well has many variables and how you feel is just the foundation. Great and consistent communication is an art that takes time and practice to develop.
If you are running into confrontations often then consider this.
Remember this
Remember Virginia Satir who point blank tells us "The meaning of your communication is the response you are getting".
Sometimes it is as simple as taking a breath and stop talking to really begin to listen.
It may feel as if you have been listening for hours, but communication will not change until you change how you feel about the communication.
If you get upset then your communication will probably upset others too.
Stop and compose yourself
Stop and take a breath, as often as you need too.
Sometimes people are not really saying the very thing they mean, calibrate for congruence in peoples communication, so you can help them find the solution they are really looking for.
Consider other peoples Maps
We have spoken many times now about people Maps, Perceptions, Beliefs, Values, Opinions all the things that create a persons way of thinking or processing and understanding the things that are happening.
So, communication excellence is a long term journey of personal excellence, a great question to ask yourself is what will great communication mean to me.
Good Communication equals Success
Tony Robbins says Successful people are also great communicators.
What can you do right now to change how you are communicating ?
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Milton Model Language Extended Quote
Richard Bandler Said The truth is people like to feel good for absolutely no reason at all.
My client Susan said she noticed that when she concentrated on feeling better she was so surprised how much better she began to feel more of the time.
Yesterday I was talking to my friend Stuart who said when he got serious about getting in great shape, he began to show up to Run each morning, the more he got in to the rhythm of it, the better he noticed he felt about his own achievement, which led him to accomplish much more in his business life too.
Milton Erickson used to use the technique of indirectly saying a thing by shifting accountability to another speaker.
(I mean it wasn't as if I said is .. They said it, I am only passing the message along ...)
A funny thing happens then, I didn't say it but the person I am talking to gets to experience the full impact of the message without having any conflict in their conscious mind.
This language pattern is so simple and handy it bypasses the critical faculty and immerses the listener into their own imagination before they know it.
Of course you shouldn't just take my word for it, should you.
Some of the Greatest NLP Trainers of all time say, chunk information down into bite size pieces and then you will find yourself having as much fun as possible learning new things.
"Slow and Steady wins the Race"
Aesop's Fables
My client Susan said she noticed that when she concentrated on feeling better she was so surprised how much better she began to feel more of the time.
Yesterday I was talking to my friend Stuart who said when he got serious about getting in great shape, he began to show up to Run each morning, the more he got in to the rhythm of it, the better he noticed he felt about his own achievement, which led him to accomplish much more in his business life too.
(I mean it wasn't as if I said is .. They said it, I am only passing the message along ...)
A funny thing happens then, I didn't say it but the person I am talking to gets to experience the full impact of the message without having any conflict in their conscious mind.
This language pattern is so simple and handy it bypasses the critical faculty and immerses the listener into their own imagination before they know it.
Of course you shouldn't just take my word for it, should you.
Some of the Greatest NLP Trainers of all time say, chunk information down into bite size pieces and then you will find yourself having as much fun as possible learning new things.
"Slow and Steady wins the Race"
Aesop's Fables
Monday, October 10, 2011
Michael Stevenson The NLP Interviews
Hi Everyone just a quick note to update you about a brand new Interview on The NLP Interviews
with NLP Master Trainer Michael Stevenson who provides an incredible offer for his Upcoming Training in Australia and the UK for the full Interview please click here
Thursday, September 15, 2011
NLP Book Club
We are looking forward to our 5th month of NLP Bookclub and each month has been an incredible learning process for all of us.
The Book we are working through is Unlimited power by Anthony Robbins.
I have read and re read this book many many times and think it is a great place to begin putting together a framework to use and apply NLP in everyday life.
As a Trainer of NLP this has given me a great opportunity to show people how to begin to gain unconscious competence in NLP processes in every day life.
As a Coach this has helped me to share ways in which NLP can immediately change perceptions, feelings and actions which ultimately creates life style.
Every one of the participants return over and over again to enjoy the progress they have made since beginning 5 months ago, and look forward to the progress their Bookclub Colleagues are making too.
NLP Book club is a great opportunity to relax, sort your feelings and experiences out and discuss solutions with some great people who are also making progress, let our hair down, discuss current issues.
This week we concluded with the idea that when feeling down, what was really important was finding a song to fill your heart and using it as a bridge to a more resourceful state and then beginning to apply and use the things we already know.
Here is a song that evokes strong anchors in me from my childhood, a time when just by watching this show I began to dream of possibilities outside of my own current experience ... can you find your own song ?
NLP Interview with Joost Van Der Leij
Recently I had the pleasure of Interviewing NLP Master Trainer Joost van der Leij from the Netherlands.
To Enjoy the full interview please click on the link go to The NLP Interviews where you can enjoy this and many more exclusive NLP Interviews.
To Enjoy the full interview please click on the link go to The NLP Interviews where you can enjoy this and many more exclusive NLP Interviews.
Monday, September 12, 2011
NLP MindFest Online Seminar
What is NLP MindFest ?
NLP Mindfest is a great way to dive into NLP and come away with a handful of mental processes that can change your life forever.
When does NLP Mindfest Start ?
NLP MindFest is going on right now and for the next 10 Days, each ay you can listen to Two sessions for Free if you register now.
Do I need to have experience in NLP ?
At the moment Marilyn Devonish and Paul Scheele are offering a bonus session as an Introduction to NLP.
Why should I be interested in Listening online ?
If you register For the next 2 Days This High Value seminar is offered absolutely Free for the live Training.
How will my life change?
You certainly will gain insight into fabulous Tools that will give you brand new ideas.
What are the Subjects being covered ?
1) Mind Mastery: How to kick negative thoughts out of your life
2) Brain Switch: How to erase anxiety and boost success
3) Influence vs. Power: How to quickly build connections with others
4) Our Future Leaders: How to reduce fears in children
5) Ultimate Motivation: How to achieve an extraordinary and healthy lifestyle
6) New Life: How to control diabetes and weight
7) Missed by the Masses: What you should know to be more successful
8) Stop the Sabotage: How to uproot nasty habits with ease
9) Game Day Nerves: How to live without performance anxiety
10) Change Catapult: How to self-coach yourself to significant achievement
11) Word Mastery: How to be clear, persuasive, and charismatic
12) X-Ray Listening: Decoding the language of the unconscious mind
13) Winning Strategies: How to use unconscious programming to change your life
14) Living Brilliantly: How to find your personal "sweet spot"
15) Huna & NLP: Ancient and modern keys to well-being
16) Story Time: The truth about your success, relationships, and happiness
17) Social Media: How to use NLP to create sales on the Internet
18) Awareness: The answer to every life problem that actually has an answer
19) Powerful Clarity: Make better life decisions
20) Mending the Wounded Learner: Conquering the fear of learning
All at no charge for you, and completely commercial-free.
**Bonus in addition to all this you get a free session when you sign up now !
When you sign up today, you will receive immediate access to a special introductory session with NLP Mindfest Host Paul R. Scheele and Marilyn Devonish, an NLP expert from England. We will give you an introduction to NLP as well as a couple of techniques you can use instantly. You don’t have to wait until September 12! You’ll get your first program today!
If you want to participate in this great Mind Fest then click on the link below.
Register for NLP Mindfest
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